You are currently browsing the daily archive for April 26, 2009.

Taking a break from torture, plague, and the ethnic cleansing of hippies from the subdivisions, and trying not to be redundant with my previous lists here and here.  As before, I make no warranty as to the precision of the quotes.  All are as close to the originals as my memory will allow, unless I’ve googled it.  Name the title, and extra points for naming the characters and actors making the statements.  I’ll list the answers in a few days.  When I have quotations from more than one character, I leave the names unless I think they’re so memorable they’ll give the title away.

“I’ll have four fried chickens.  And a coke.”

“Hello.  My name is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die.”

“You gentlemen aren’t really going to kill my son, are you?”

“Mr. President, you’ve got bigger problems than losing me. You just lost my vote.”

“I ain’t fallin’ for no banana in my tail pipe!”

“Well, I still jerk off manually.”

“Well, well, well! Well if it isn’t fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarble, ya eunuch jelly thou!”

“Well, all I’m saying is that I want to look back and say that I did it the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place. Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.”

“Look Doris, someday you’re going to find that your way of facing this realistic world just doesn’t work. And when you do, don’t overlook those lovely intangibles. You’ll discover those are the only things that are worthwhile.”

“Well I don’t want Fop, godammit! I’m a Dapper Dan man!”

Elliot: “He’s a man from outer space and we’re taking him to his spaceship.”
Greg: “Well, can’t he just beam up?”
Elliot: “This is REALITY, Greg.”

“Don’t you think one of the charms of marriage is that it makes deception a necessity for both parties? May I ask why a beautiful woman who could have any man in this room wants to be married?”

“Dave, my mind is going! I can feel it! I can feel it!”

“I run my unit how I run my unit. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yard from 4000 Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don’t think for one second that you can come down here, flash a badge, and make me nervous.”

“So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.”

“It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you’re sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.”

“You homo sapiens and your guns.”

“I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your house on the day of your daughter’s wedding.”

“I am not a gun.”

“Of course, you can say it backwards, which is dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirupus, but that’s going a bit too far, don’t you think?”

“Oh, him? He’s harmless. Part of the free speech movement at Berkeley in the sixties. I think he did a little too much LDS.”

“You can’t just take people away like that. Do you hear me? He was a good man, a good person. It’s not fair! We are not just helpless children! He had a life! Do you hear me? I mean, do YOU hear ME? What’s the matter with you?”

Joe Oramas: Hey, Olivia, you got a garlic press?
Olivia Harris: No.
Joe Oramas: How can you not have a garlic press? (don’t cheat and hit the links!)

“It was as though this plan had been with him all his life, pondered through the seasons, now in his fifteenth year crystallized with the pain of puberty.”

Zip: Figures. We finally get a chick in the band, and she’s a lesbian.
Bobby: How do you know?
Zip: I asked her if she wanted go out with me, she said No.
Bobby: Zip, this town’s full of chicks who won’t go out with you.
Zip: Yeah. Lesbians, all of ’em.

Character 1:  “Whatcha hit him with?”                                                                                                              Character 2: “Hit whom?”                                                                                                                               Character 1: “Whom”? Are you a northern boy? What’s a northern boy doing down here?

“Ah, Herr Bartlett. And Herr MacDonald. We are together again. You’re going to wish you had never put us to so much trouble!”

“The question is whether you were lying then or are you lying now… or whether in fact you are a chronic and habitual LIAR!”

Diana Christensen: Hi. I’m Diana Christensen, a racist lackey of the imperialist ruling circles.
Laureen Hobbs: I’m Laureen Hobbs, a badass commie nigger.
Diana Christensen: Sounds like the basis of a firm friendship.

“I wouldn’t put on an electric blanket for any reason. First, I’d be worried if I get electrocuted. No, I don’t trust technology. But I mean, the main thing, Wally, is that I think that kind of comfort just separates you from reality in a very direct way.”


A national medical emergency has been declared following 20 confirmed cases of swine flu around the country, including an outbreak in a New York City school.  So far the symptoms have been mild, with only one hospitalization, as opposed to Mexico where dozens have died.  So far no explanation for the difference.

I’m wondering if we were hit with it last week.  Both of my kids came down with fevers which knocked them out for a day or two.  Other kids in the community experienced the same.  I had a sore throat and some fatigue, but I can’t say I was feverish.  My mother was laid out and had some of the other symptoms.  This is about the time of year community members come back from Mexico.

Just being paranoid.  Putting it all in perspective, on average about 36,000 die of flu complications every year, usually the elderly, very young, or those with immune deficiencies.

But if this indeed the end and you survive it, will you end up in Boulder or Las Vegas?

Addendum: Do you really think this announcement will quell the conspiracy theories?

Second addendum: The EU is now warning its citizens against travel to the U.S.

The stock market has the flu.

And some in Mexico are blaming Smithsfield factory farms for the crisis.

Third addendum: Right wing conspiracy number two – the swine flu is part of a plot to jam Kathleen Sebelius through to head up the Department of Health and Human Services.


April 2009
« Mar   May »