Taking a break from torture, plague, and the ethnic cleansing of hippies from the subdivisions, and trying not to be redundant with my previous lists here and here. As before, I make no warranty as to the precision of the quotes. All are as close to the originals as my memory will allow, unless I’ve googled it. Name the title, and extra points for naming the characters and actors making the statements. I’ll list the answers in a few days. When I have quotations from more than one character, I leave the names unless I think they’re so memorable they’ll give the title away.
“I’ll have four fried chickens. And a coke.”
“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
“You gentlemen aren’t really going to kill my son, are you?”
“Mr. President, you’ve got bigger problems than losing me. You just lost my vote.”
“I ain’t fallin’ for no banana in my tail pipe!”
“Well, I still jerk off manually.”
“Well, well, well! Well if it isn’t fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarble, ya eunuch jelly thou!”
“Well, all I’m saying is that I want to look back and say that I did it the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place. Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.”
“Look Doris, someday you’re going to find that your way of facing this realistic world just doesn’t work. And when you do, don’t overlook those lovely intangibles. You’ll discover those are the only things that are worthwhile.”
“Well I don’t want Fop, godammit! I’m a Dapper Dan man!”
Elliot: “He’s a man from outer space and we’re taking him to his spaceship.”
Greg: “Well, can’t he just beam up?”
Elliot: “This is REALITY, Greg.”
“Don’t you think one of the charms of marriage is that it makes deception a necessity for both parties? May I ask why a beautiful woman who could have any man in this room wants to be married?”
“Dave, my mind is going! I can feel it! I can feel it!”
“I run my unit how I run my unit. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yard from 4000 Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don’t think for one second that you can come down here, flash a badge, and make me nervous.”
“So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.”
“It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you’re sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.”
“You homo sapiens and your guns.”
“I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your house on the day of your daughter’s wedding.”
“I am not a gun.”
“Of course, you can say it backwards, which is dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirupus, but that’s going a bit too far, don’t you think?”
“Oh, him? He’s harmless. Part of the free speech movement at Berkeley in the sixties. I think he did a little too much LDS.”
“You can’t just take people away like that. Do you hear me? He was a good man, a good person. It’s not fair! We are not just helpless children! He had a life! Do you hear me? I mean, do YOU hear ME? What’s the matter with you?”
Joe Oramas: Hey, Olivia, you got a garlic press?
Olivia Harris: No.
Joe Oramas: How can you not have a garlic press? (don’t cheat and hit the links!)
“It was as though this plan had been with him all his life, pondered through the seasons, now in his fifteenth year crystallized with the pain of puberty.”
Zip: Figures. We finally get a chick in the band, and she’s a lesbian.
Bobby: How do you know?
Zip: I asked her if she wanted go out with me, she said No.
Bobby: Zip, this town’s full of chicks who won’t go out with you.
Zip: Yeah. Lesbians, all of ‘em.
Character 1: “Whatcha hit him with?” Character 2: “Hit whom?” Character 1: “Whom”? Are you a northern boy? What’s a northern boy doing down here?
“Ah, Herr Bartlett. And Herr MacDonald. We are together again. You’re going to wish you had never put us to so much trouble!”
“The question is whether you were lying then or are you lying now… or whether in fact you are a chronic and habitual LIAR!”
Diana Christensen: Hi. I’m Diana Christensen, a racist lackey of the imperialist ruling circles.
Laureen Hobbs: I’m Laureen Hobbs, a badass commie nigger.
Diana Christensen: Sounds like the basis of a firm friendship.
“I wouldn’t put on an electric blanket for any reason. First, I’d be worried if I get electrocuted. No, I don’t trust technology. But I mean, the main thing, Wally, is that I think that kind of comfort just separates you from reality in a very direct way.”
19 comments
Comments feed for this article
April 27, 2009 at 7:17 am
crazy horse
Wow, those are tough. I only know two, I think. ” Dave my mind is going” is HAL in 2001. “I am honored and grateful….. is Luca Brasi speaking to Don Corleone in Godfather 1. That was fun….thanks.
April 27, 2009 at 7:25 am
Dave Kirby
Just curious Eric. How many hrs. sleep do you get on average or are things just slow at the office?
April 27, 2009 at 8:29 am
Eric Kirk
Dave, I tend to be up later than I should be lately. Unfortunately, things are not slow at the office. But this was mostly a C&P job.
Crazy Horse – you got those two right.
April 27, 2009 at 9:39 am
Jen Savage
“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
Princess Bride!
“Well I don’t want Fop, godammit! I’m a Dapper Dan man!”
O Brother Where Art Thou?
“So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.”
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
“You homo sapiens and your guns.”
X-Men (2? 3?)
“I am not a gun.”
Iron Giant
“Of course, you can say it backwards, which is dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirupus, but that’s going a bit too far, don’t you think?”
Mary Poppins
Many of the rest are familiar (I would’ve got the Godfather quote, but not which character), but I can’t name the movies!
April 27, 2009 at 9:48 am
Jen Savage
Oh, I didn’t list the characters/actors! Let me redo:
“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
Princess Bride, Hank Azaria as (obviously) Inigo Montoya
“Well I don’t want Fop, godammit! I’m a Dapper Dan man!”
George Clooney’s character in O Brother Where Art Thou?
“So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.”
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka
“You homo sapiens and your guns.”
X-Men (2? 3?)… um… Ian McKellen, Magneto, I think
“I am not a gun.”
Iron Giant, The Iron Giant
“Of course, you can say it backwards, which is dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirupus, but that’s going a bit too far, don’t you think?”
Mary Poppins played by Julie Andrews in Mary Poppins
April 27, 2009 at 9:53 am
crazy horse
Poor Luca ended up sleeping with the fishes. One of the greatest movies ever made ( Godfather II was just as great).
April 27, 2009 at 9:56 am
Anonymous
“Character 1: “Whatcha hit him with?” Character 2: “Hit whom?” Character 1: “Whom”? Are you a northern boy? What’s a northern boy doing down here?”
The best movie made in the 60s In the Heat of the Night. Rod Steiger as the sheriff Gillespie and Sidney Poitier as virgil tibbs.
“Elliot: “He’s a man from outer space and we’re taking him to his spaceship.”
Greg: “Well, can’t he just beam up?”
Elliot: “This is REALITY, Greg.””
ET?
“It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you’re sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.”
Wasn’t that real life? I think the guy did a porn movie called “uncut”.
“I ain’t fallin’ for no banana in my tail pipe!”
Beverly Hills Cop
April 27, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Eric Kirk
Jen – according to the database where I grabbed the quote, it’s X-men 1.
But Jen, Montoya was played by Mandy Patinkin
Anonymous – you got the ET quote right. The penis quote comes from Fight Club.
Crazy Horse – Was his name Luca? I just remember him as the “scary man” at the wedding who tried to infiltrate the rival gang and got killed in the process.
April 27, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Anonymous
Diana Christiansen and Laureen Hobbs were in Network. Faye Dunaway played Christiansen. I don’t know the name of the actress who played Hobbs.
April 27, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Eric Kirk
Anon 4:31 – I don’t know the name of the actress either, but the character was modeled after Angela Davis, obviously. Same voice and accent. Maybe a little cynical, but that’s fine.
April 27, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Jen Savage
Ack! I confused Hank Azaria and Mandy Patikin?! How embarrassing.
And I just watched Fight Club again a couple months ago – can’t believe I missed that quote. Too many movies and not enough brain cells to remember them all.
April 27, 2009 at 5:57 pm
liz
Four Fried Chickens–Jake (John Belushi) in the Blues Brothers. Do I get extra points for remembering Elwood wanted dry white toast?
Inigo Montoya, Mandy Patinkin in The Princess Bride.
…lost my vote is from Rob Reiner’s American President, but can’t recall who played or said who/what.
Look Doris… Mr. Bailey (John Payne) to Maureen O’Hara in Miracle on 34th Street. (My favorite quote: Kris Kringle on his age–”as old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth.”)
Dapper Dan man is Geoge Clooney in O Brother Where Art Thou.
Can’t take people away like that–Richard Jenkins in The Visitor. Really good film!
Rest have me stumped, but I’ll read them again later.
April 28, 2009 at 5:51 am
crazy horse
Well, at first I thought it was Clemenza ( who ended up a traitor and was taken for “a ride”) but I am pretty sure it was Luca. He did try to infiltrate another family and was killed in that chilling bar scene were they pin his hand down on the bar and then strangle him. A fish wrapped in newspaper was delivered to the Corleone family the next day. I need to see it again! Just to make sure. I guess seeing I and II a dozen times wasn’t enough.
April 28, 2009 at 8:01 am
Cristina
Hmmm… shamefully, I can only name two, although they’re all familiar. BTW, in “The American President,” it was Annette Bening’s environmental lobbyist character saying that to Michael Douglas’s president.
My all-time favorite might be the one from “Some Like It Hot”: “Wouldja look at that? It’s like Jell-O on springs!”
April 28, 2009 at 8:49 am
Eric Kirk
Crazy Horse – your memory matches mine. My favorite line from the movie is “leave the gun, grab the cannolies.”
Wouldn’t you know it? The spellcheck doesn’t have “cannolies.”
Cristina – I’ve never seen Some Like it Hot, but a client of mine had a small part in it. Coincidentally, I have the Netflix disc at home right now.
liz – I would have given you credit, but you didn’t name Dan Akroyd as the actor. I’ll give it to you if you can name four famous musicians in the movie.
And good for you for getting the Visitor quote. It is a great movie. The same director did The Station Agent, a quote from which is in the list.
April 28, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Eric Kirk
Okay, here are the answers.
“I’ll have four fried chickens. And a coke.”
Elliot in the Blues Brothers.
“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
Princess Bride.
“You gentlemen aren’t really going to kill my son, are you?”
Cary Grant’s character’s mother in North by Northwest.
“Mr. President, you’ve got bigger problems than losing me. You just lost my vote.”
Annette Benning’s character in The American President.
“I ain’t fallin’ for no banana in my tail pipe!”
Beverly Hills Cop.
“Well, I still jerk off manually.”
The Dude in The Big Lebowski
“Well, well, well! Well if it isn’t fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarble, ya eunuch jelly thou!”
The main character in A Clockwork Orange. It was always incomprehensible to me audibly. It’s still incomprehensible to me in print. What’s yarble?
“Well, all I’m saying is that I want to look back and say that I did it the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place. Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.”
Dazed and Confused, the only movie which comes close to catching the high school experience of the late 70s, early 80s.
“Look Doris, someday you’re going to find that your way of facing this realistic world just doesn’t work. And when you do, don’t overlook those lovely intangibles. You’ll discover those are the only things that are worthwhile.”
Miracle on 34th Street
“Well I don’t want Fop, godammit! I’m a Dapper Dan man!”
Clooney in O Brother where art Thou?
Elliot: “He’s a man from outer space and we’re taking him to his spaceship.”
Greg: “Well, can’t he just beam up?”
Elliot: “This is REALITY, Greg.”
ET
“Don’t you think one of the charms of marriage is that it makes deception a necessity for both parties? May I ask why a beautiful woman who could have any man in this room wants to be married?”
Eyes Wide Shut. I don’t know who said it.
“Dave, my mind is going! I can feel it! I can feel it!”
Hal in 2001
“I run my unit how I run my unit. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yard from 4000 Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don’t think for one second that you can come down here, flash a badge, and make me nervous.”
I’m surprised no one got this. Colonel Jessup classically played by Nicholson in A Few Good Men.
“So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.”
Gene Wilder as Wonka in Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
“It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you’re sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.”
Fight Club
“You homo sapiens and your guns.”
Magneto in X-men.
“I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your house on the day of your daughter’s wedding.”
Lucca in Godfather.
“I am not a gun.”
The Iron Giant in the Iron Giant.
“Of course, you can say it backwards, which is dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirupus, but that’s going a bit too far, don’t you think?”
Mary Poppins in Mary Poppins.
“Oh, him? He’s harmless. Part of the free speech movement at Berkeley in the sixties. I think he did a little too much LDS.”
Capt. Kirk speaking about Mr. Spock in the movie with the whales.
“You can’t just take people away like that. Do you hear me? He was a good man, a good person. It’s not fair! We are not just helpless children! He had a life! Do you hear me? I mean, do YOU hear ME? What’s the matter with you?”
The professor in The Visitor.
Joe Oramas: Hey, Olivia, you got a garlic press?
Olivia Harris: No.
Joe Oramas: How can you not have a garlic press? (don’t cheat and hit the links!)
The Station Agent.
“It was as though this plan had been with him all his life, pondered through the seasons, now in his fifteenth year crystallized with the pain of puberty.”
Narrator in Donnie Darko.
Zip: Figures. We finally get a chick in the band, and she’s a lesbian.
Bobby: How do you know?
Zip: I asked her if she wanted go out with me, she said No.
Bobby: Zip, this town’s full of chicks who won’t go out with you.
Zip: Yeah. Lesbians, all of ‘em.
City of Hope, probably one of the most undersung movies made. Too many storylines and characters for the critics’ brains to keep up with.
Character 1: “Whatcha hit him with?” Character 2: “Hit whom?” Character 1: “Whom”? Are you a northern boy? What’s a northern boy doing down here?
Rod Steiger in the classic intro/clash of characters in In the Heat of the Night.
“Ah, Herr Bartlett. And Herr MacDonald. We are together again. You’re going to wish you had never put us to so much trouble!”
The Gestapo office in The Great Escape, in the scene before about 50 of the escapees are mowed down.
“The question is whether you were lying then or are you lying now… or whether in fact you are a chronic and habitual LIAR!”
The heavy guy playing the defense lawyer in Witness for the Prosecution.
Diana Christensen: Hi. I’m Diana Christensen, a racist lackey of the imperialist ruling circles.
Laureen Hobbs: I’m Laureen Hobbs, a badass commie nigger.
Diana Christensen: Sounds like the basis of a firm friendship.
Network.
“I wouldn’t put on an electric blanket for any reason. First, I’d be worried if I get electrocuted. No, I don’t trust technology. But I mean, the main thing, Wally, is that I think that kind of comfort just separates you from reality in a very direct way.”
Andre in My Dinner with Andre
April 28, 2009 at 7:42 pm
liz
Oh come on, Eric. That’s like demanding I identify salt with pepper.
OK, OK, easy: Aretha Franklin, (There’s a couple white guys in here and one wants four fried chickens and the other dry white toast) Cab Calloway, RAY CHARLES!!!! (Ray Charles! RAY CHARLES!), James, “Sex Machine” Brown not to mention the amazing Steve Cropper and Matt “Guitar” Murphy.
Must confess about Ray Charles. (Can you tell I love Ray Charles?) I was driving home from wherever when I got into KMUD range (Pledge Drive–GIVE!) and I heard one Ray Charles song, then another, then Georgia on My Mind and I went, Uh oh, and sure enough, the DJ finally came on and said that sadly, Ray had passed on.
About an hour later, still listening to the KMUD, Travis T Hip comes on and says, “If you can’t say good things of the dead, don’t say anything at all, so let’s have a moment of silence for Ronald Reagan.” Yep, Ronnie and Ray, together at the Pearly Gates, What do you suppose happened?
As I drove past the Redway PO, the flag was at half mast. It wasn’t to honor the guy who made you get up and dance.
Well, I think about it all night and all the next morning. Ray Charles. Ronald Reagan. Ray CHARLES! F*&^ing Ronnie Rayguns. So I made a sign up:
Ray Charles
1930-2004
and I took it and a roll of duct tape to the post office that evening, parked and ran up to the flag pole and
…someone had beaten me to it!
Whoever you were, thanks!
April 28, 2009 at 7:53 pm
liz
Just read your list of answers. I am cracking up at the Star Trek quote–I’ve seen that one and didn’t remember that at all.
JJ Abrams is floggin that horse:
http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/356492/Star-Trek/trailers
Looks like fun with many more explosions.
April 29, 2009 at 8:22 am
Eric Kirk
Yeah, I haven’t seen the movie since the 1980s, but it was filmed in SF and I remember discussion of the world famous “Sausalito Aquarium” (where the whales were being held) and of course the “Alameda nuclear power plant”, as if anything like that could have been built without massive daily civil disobedience protests.