Comments on: But for the grace… http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/ Everything Southern Humboldt and more Tue, 21 May 2013 06:27:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Anonymous http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19287 Sat, 21 Apr 2007 22:37:00 +0000 http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19287 Everybody has a story about a couple not getting along. Mine is the sister and brother in law who never spoke to each other just left notes on the table or asked one of the kids to tell your mother-or tell your Dad…

They sure did yell at those kids a lot though.

Now divorced, they work well together, share the kids just fine and both parents have given up pretty much every idea of connecting with a new spouse. It’s been over 10 years.

Sometimes being married isn’t Everything.

]]> By: Anonymous http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19286 Sat, 21 Apr 2007 22:34:00 +0000 http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19286 Better yet-don’t go to bed mad get to the bottom of things that are bothering you. AND if you’re fighting about the way toilet paper should go on the roller or who’s turn it is to clean up after the dog, figure out what you are really mad about. Cause it isn’t the dog.

]]> By: Anonymous http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19246 Sat, 21 Apr 2007 17:10:00 +0000 http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19246 Grow up. Be civil. Don’t fight all the time. Simple.

]]> By: Anonymous http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19199 Fri, 20 Apr 2007 21:40:00 +0000 http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19199 The whole staying together for the ‘sake of the kids’ is over-rated and as Dr Phil says…its better to come from a broken home than to live in one!

From the personal experience of marrying a man with 5 children-staying together (25 years in a state of hostility) ‘for their sake’ meant my husband and his former wife raised five children with the expectation that relationships were painful, unfulfilling and at times hostile, bitter and dangerous.

Of the 5 adults 4 remain single well into their 20s no boyfriends or girlfriends and the one that married has a restraining order against the ex. Child visitation takes place at the halfway mark in a police station parking lot (by court order).

For the children, huh? No. They stayed together the 25 yrs because they got used to battling one another on every little thing big or small and sooner or later just didn’t know any better. They were joined at the hip even though they slept together the total number of times they got pregnant +2.

Marriage shouldn’t be entered into lightly, having children should be thought out carefully and staying together takes work even in happy relationships.

Being happy today doesn’t guarantee that you will be tomorrow or next year-so when problems develop that you can’t seem to handle on your own buy a good book-No its a GREAT BOOK entitled Secrets of a Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch. Or find yourselves a good therapist.

]]> By: Eric V. Kirk http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19136 Fri, 20 Apr 2007 04:49:00 +0000 http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19136 Oh, she’s got a few years under her belt working family law in the Bay Area. She does want to expand into other areas of practice as well.

]]> By: ED Denson http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19134 Fri, 20 Apr 2007 04:28:00 +0000 http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19134 I tell people that I absolutely refuse to do family law cases because I think family law is the most dangerous kind of law for an attorney. Everyone says “ha ha ha” but how many criminal defense attorneys get shot?

Kudos to Roxanne, but boy she has really jumped off the end of the dock to learn to swim if she;s starting in family law.

]]> By: stillthere http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19038 Thu, 19 Apr 2007 17:09:00 +0000 http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19038 Grow up. Be civil. Don’t fight all the time. Simple. Keep the focus on the kids and you can’t fight. They are so innocent, and helpless, especially when they are young. They need so much. Focus on the kids, not on your own petty grivences with a spouse you knew well enuf to bone, or open up your legs for. Focus on raising a child that is secure and healthy. Meals, outings, peace. Really, for me and my disgruntled (at times) spouse, we both love our kids too much, we both want to see them EVERYDAY and refuse to let another raise our child as their own. Oh, and we are sometimes still hot for each other…It is a long life. I know many divorcees that are very regretful at having destroyed their family unity. Family comes first.

]]> By: Eric V. Kirk http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19031 Thu, 19 Apr 2007 16:54:00 +0000 http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19031 I understand where you’re coming from, but is it really in the kids’ best interests to stay together if you’re fighting all the time, or not talking to each other? I agree that the kids should come first in any decisions the parents make, but what that consideration should look like differs from situation to situation.

]]> By: twokidslater... http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19030 Thu, 19 Apr 2007 16:50:00 +0000 http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19030 Once children enter a relationship, married or not, the focus of the couple should be on the children. Our self absorbed, MEMEMEMEMEMEME, culture has created chaos of the family unit. Unless your spouse is dangerous or destructive, the relationship should continue for the sake of the children. They would never chose the chaotic sick arrangements many of them are forced to live with. The endless new lovers, new siblings, and the alienation created by distracted guilt ridden ‘parents’ who have NO attention for them…sad really.

The minority now is the two parent home, with children who actually are living with both of their bio parents. Why?

THINK before you procreate!!

or, Don’t bring home a rattlesnake and then cry when you get bit!

]]> By: Eric V. Kirk http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19005 Thu, 19 Apr 2007 15:27:00 +0000 http://kunsoo1024.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/but-for-the-grace/#comment-19005 Not all soon-to-be-single dads have the resources either Eric. (Was it an oversight or deliberate exclusion?)

But I’m willing to bet that if a child is playing with the crayons in the family court clerk’s office, 9 out of 10 times the child is accompanying the mother. That’s probably conservative.

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